Most leadership conversations still orbit the same themes: strategy, performance, profitability, execution.

But when pressure rises, when uncertainty hits, when markets shift, when teams fracture — it’s not a lack of strategy that breaks leaders down.

It’s a lack of internal capacity.

So I asked 14 leadership experts, founders, CEOs, and practitioners one question:

“How do we start having the conversation about internal work in leadership circles?”

What emerged was a resounding truth:

Leadership capacity isn’t built through knowledge. It’s built through nervous system regulation, identity clarity, and emotional maturity — and the conversation must start there.

Here’s how these experts say we begin reframing leadership for the modern world.

Start With Identity, Not Tactics

Dr. Natalie Pickering, CEO and Founder of The Becoming Institute, says leaders must begin with themselves — specifically, with their identity:

“The capacity of leaders to maintain stability under uncertainty is ultimately developed via identity-first leadership. Leaders who are clear on who they are becoming regulate faster because they have fewer competing selves and agendas when stakes rise.”

Before talking about KPIs or innovation, she says, leaders need space to explore the rules, wounds, failures, and narratives driving their behavior.

Identity → clarity → regulation → capacity.

That’s the order.

Normalize Growth as a Leadership Responsibility

CEO of Cabana, Jeremy Yamaguchi, believes the conversation starts with expanding what leaders think leadership is:

“There isn’t a limit for leadership skills. When leaders realize there’s always more to learn, they become aware of the opportunities they have to be even more successful.”

Leaders can’t ask teams to grow if they themselves refuse to evolve.

The invitation is simple:
Growth isn’t optional — it’s the job.

Edward Tian, CEO of GPTZero, echoes this:

“Even the foremost expert can grow. And leaders have a responsibility to. Complacency should be avoided at all costs.”

Make Inner Work Visible From the Top Down

For some executives, internal work still feels taboo.
“Therapy,” “emotional regulation,” and “nervous system work” feel too personal.

Jonathan Palley, CEO of QR Codes Unlimited, believes the way forward is transparency:

“I lead by example. I’m open about seeing a therapist and working on distress tolerance and patience. It makes me a better entrepreneur — but really it makes me a healthier person.”

Leaders model the behavior that becomes culture.

If a CEO openly prioritizes emotional resilience, regulation becomes safety — not stigma.

Shift the Narrative From Knowledge to Presence

Jack Nguyen, CEO of InCorp Vietnam, wants to introduce a more honest truth:

“Excellent leaders aren’t the ones who know the most. They remain cool and steady in uncertainty.”

Leadership has been tied to intellect for too long.
But as Nguyen notes, research shows that:

70% of executives now consider self-awareness the most important leadership trait.

Knowledge helps.
Regulation sustains.

Show Leaders What Regulation Looks Like in Practice

Julia Pukhalskaia, CEO of Mermaid Way, describes the invisible behaviors she sees in effective leaders:

“People perform invisible work — deep breathing before decisions, gentle approaches during conflict, staying connected to the body in confusing moments. Leaders who maintain composure create space for others.”

Internal work becomes a leadership skill when it’s modeled, not taught.

When nervous system regulation becomes normalized practice rather than private struggle, teams learn to co-regulate.

Reframe Self-Regulation as a Strategic, Not Emotional, Skill

Katherine Hosie, Leadership Resilience Coach and CEO of Powerhouse Coaching, puts it bluntly:

“This is the most important work of leadership: the ability to self-regulate under pressure.”

She calls it “differentiation”—a leader’s ability to stay non-anxious and non-reactive even while others spiral.

And she says the way to start the conversation is simple:

“Have people reflect on the best leadership they’ve seen — and what made it effective. It’s never intellect. It’s presence.”

Treat Stress Management as Organizational Infrastructure

Igor Golovko, developer and founder of TwinCore, argues that regulation should be treated like any operational standard:

“Your nervous system takeover will not be solved by knowledge. Leaders who regulate create better systems thinking and better project delivery. Stress management should be as standard as code quality.”

In other words:
Regulation isn’t self-help — it’s risk management.

Phil Cartwright of Octopus International agrees:

“Personal development functions as organizational infrastructure. It’s a protective measure, like financial reserves or cyber security.”

Companies would never skip cyber protection.
Why skip emotional protection?

Highlight the Business Cost of Dysregulation

Nothing opens leadership ears like numbers.

Maxwell Finn, Founder of Unicorn Marketers, learned this firsthand:

“I’ve watched leaders lose millions because they panicked at one bad day of data. This isn’t a strategy problem — it’s emotional regulation.”

When leaders understand that dysregulation drains revenue, damages culture, and destroys retention, internal work becomes financial strategy — not “wellness.”

Anchor the Conversation in Real Leadership Stories

Damien Zouaoui, Co-Founder of Oakwell Beer Spa, offered a simple way to begin:

“Share authentic stories about staying calm under pressure. Our team succeeded during floods and funding shortages not because we knew everything — but because we stayed present.”

Leaders trust stories more than theory.

Start with stories.

Frame Inner Work as Performance Optimization, Not Therapy

Wynter Johnson, CEO of Caily, knows leaders often shut down when the conversation feels “personal”:

“Telling someone they need therapy raises defenses. Frame it as optimizing decision-making, and suddenly leaders listen.”

This is where the shift begins:
Internal work becomes performance work.

Make Reflection a Built-In Leadership Practice

Hans Graubard, COO of Happy V, weaves regulation into workflows:

“We provide employees with time for reflection, feedback loops, and post-launch reviews. People understand inner work when they see it positively impact their performance.”

Internal work doesn’t need to be added.

It needs to be integrated.

The Conversation Starts With One Truth:

Leaders Aren’t Burned Out Because They’re Weak.
They’re Burned Out Because They’re Unregulated.

To bring this into leadership circles, we must reframe the entire conversation:

• It’s not “self-care.”

• It’s not “soft skills.”

• It’s not “therapy language.”

It’s capacity-building.
It’s risk mitigation.
It’s long-term strategic advantage.
It’s leadership maturity.

The leaders who can hold more — more pressure, more responsibility, more conflict — without collapsing into reactivity will be the leaders shaping the next decade.

And the conversation starts with the courage to say:

“Leadership isn’t just what you do.
It’s who you are — and the state you’re in while doing it.”